The majority of people with Facebook accounts shouldn’t be allowed to have Facebook accounts. I feel like there should be an IQ test you take as you’re signing up for Facebook to see if you qualify as a semi-intelligent and cognizant human being to have access to post things that will end up polluting the eyeballs of the poor unknowing public.

These people I’m referring to are the ones that use Facebook as a clothesline to air their dirty laundry and by dirty laundry, I don’t mean just a shirt with a ketchup stain on it, I mean shit-stained undies and yellowed out armpits on white T-shirts.

These Homo sapiens, you know, the ones who seem to challenge the idea that Neanderthals are in fact extinct, have even gone on Facebook and stupidly confessed to crimes they have committed or are about to commit.

Don’t believe me? Sit back and watch, I’d never lie to you, my internet loves.

1. Ahhh, drinking and driving WHILE texting and driving. Seems like you had a hard day of being dumb as hell.

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2. #mugshot

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3. It sucks to suck.

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4. Yes, commenting on your own wanted picture is the smart thing to do.

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5. Maybe because you hit another human being with a moving vehicle. Just a thought.

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6. Cheers, to burying your career into the ground.

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7. Not only did he make Facebook statuses, but he made them PUBLIC. *Facepalm*

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8. If you’re going to hit and run do it right. It’s hit, then run. Not hit, run and then post it on Facebook.

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9. 2015: Monkey see, Monkey do, Monkey post.

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10. History? More like evidence.

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